Disclaimer: I am not an expert by any means. Not a therapist, medical or mental health professional. I do not diagnose, treat, or tell people what to do. The main purpose of this website and blog is education and support. If you are unsure how the suggestions and resources here may affect you, please discuss any changes to your existing treatment plan with your medical and mental health providers first.
Late because of unreliable internet; will post again later with today’s entry
Action: Be friendly, respectful and assertive in all social interactions (movers, building managers, doctor office, neighbors, etc.) using the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) techniques.
Intention: Use DBT to manage my social anxiety and PTSD-related communication triggers so that I can be successful communicating and interacting with a variety of people on moving day.
Reflection: Yesterday was difficult in many ways. I had less than 5 hours of sleep and spent the whole day on the go: interacting with the movers, meeting new people in the new building, chatting with a friend on the way back to the old apartment, cleaning out and getting a late lunch, going for my Chinese medicine appointment, getting dinner, and finally home to the new place around 7PM.
Late dinner. Call to my parents to let them know I was home safe. Try (and fail) to use building’s public WiFi to watch a movie. Decide not to fight the network and post on the blog. Crash into sleep in a cold apartment because still getting used to the heat settings.
Overall this challenge was a success. I did not start having issues until the end of the day when I felt safe enough to start relaxing – so during my Chinese medicine appointment. I have been going there for 3 plus years, so was comfortable letting them see and hear my anxiety. See as in the way I moved. Hear as in my rapid speech and hoarse voice.
The downside to putting that much effort into being social for 12 hours without a break is incredible physical pain. Headaches, muscle tension and stiffness, cold & flu symptoms, lack of appetite, nausea, feeling cold from the inside out, and sinus pain all hit hard. Today the pain has eased, but the headache, stuffy nose, and hip/back pain continue.
Not the first time this happened. Probably not the last either. And the pain was less this time compared to the other times. I stayed conscious. I did not have panic attacks. And I managed to eat/drink fluids.
Will I do this again any time soon – no. Was it worth the effort – yes
Reflection questions: would you be willing to pay a steep price to be successful? And what do you consider a steep price, but still worth paying for if the price is short and the benefits long term.
Love and Rainbows ~ TJ